March 20, 2012

Handy Husband-less [Day 11]

DAY 11: I find myself in a very strange land ruled by very tiny people. They have kidnapped my sleep and they have a list of demands: it includes clean clothing, Sponge Bob and obscene an quantity of chocolate milk.

I am powerless against their mighty whining. 

(I wonder where they get it from)

But seriously, can I get some major Supermom points for making it this far without buying Happy Meals for The Kiddos' dinner? I mean without buying Happy Meals until now.

Is "Supermom" one word or two?

But hold on a minute...

I think I see a...

WAIT.

I'm scared!

Wha, wha... what's that shiny thing waaaay down there?
 
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You mean, besides a splendiferously awful miniature iPhone photo?

THAT my friends, is where I NOW BRUSH MY TEETH

in a BATHROOM SINK (not a kitchen sink)

like a Normal Human Being.


And every so often I like to do a little bit of this:


just because I can.

March 12, 2012

Psssst . . . Hey You Guys

HELP!

I've been hog-tied and taken hostage by my ordinary everyday grown-up life.

PSA for anyone who isn't sure: three kids is a lot of kids. A lot. Of kids.

Write that down.

I haven't painted or planned or finished a single project-related thing in forever.

Also, did I mention that Handy Husband is off gallivanting about on an extended mega vacation of epic inter-continental all expenses paid proportions a super lame last minute loooong business trip to The Lucky Country on which he happened to take my camera and the good computer with him?

Pfffft. 

Who wants to go to Australia anyways?

Not me.

Breathtakingly awesome Australian beach photo taken by the hands of Handy Husband with my very own camera and then uploaded and sent via the nice new computer (the one that DOES NOT randomly delete blog posts when it shuts off every 3 minutes, or 8 seconds, or whenever it damn well feels like it). Doesn't look like fun at all.

[INSERT QUIET SOBBING]

Please send anti-depressants and a babysitter.

And beer.

But just one and make it a light beer since I'm dieting because that's what grown-ups do.

February 9, 2012

Three sinks. Two months. An open letter to Canada.

DEAR CANADA,

I love your house bloggers.

I love your HGTV shows filmed in Toronto.

I love your Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

I love your bacon and your ginger ale.

I do not love your pedestal sinks.



Sink #1 was a wash but, hey, we all have our cases of doggone bad luck and surely Fed Ex, in their pre-Christmas rush, was extra careful with the box.

Sink #2 was a sight for sore eyes upon it's safe arrival four long weeks later.

I almost don't have the heart to tell you what happened next. 

About how we found out that the center faucet hole spacing was not properly drilled and as a result our faucet could not be installed and I thought I might lose my mind because we've been brushing our teeth in the kitchen sink for more than 2 months now.

Sink #3 finally arrived today. In fact, you might have heard the tiny little pop that was my heart exploding as we tried to fit the faucet spout into that  center hole. 

I wasn't expecting much & I certainly wasn't disappointed. Bah.

Sink #3 (a.k.a. Replacement Sink #2) is now the newest replacement sink in my ever growing collection of crap-tacular Canadian sinks - ALL OF WHICH ARE CURRENTLY ON DISPLAY FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE IN THEIR VARIOUS STAGES OF PACKAGING & UNPACKAGING STREWN ALL ABOUT THE HOUSE.

I can't wait for the phone call I get to make to customer service in the morning.

February 8, 2012

I'm Still Here

AND I'm still waiting for the Bathroom Fairy to flitter by softly in the night with her sweet, sweet tiling wand and finish the bungalow bathroom for me.

But I'm not going to hold my breath because I don't look good in blue.


We were hard charging for quite awhile there, eh? What with all of the demo, re-building, witty blog posts & whatnot.

Then The Baby started daycare and I cried a lot and was super duper mopey-sad for awhile. And then I had a birthday. Icing on the cake. HA! See what I did there?

But not just any birthday.

A super-sick-Baby-filled birthday featuring a very special birthday visit to the ER. Everyone is okay; but, clearly 33 is making a power play to claim the coveted title of Best Birthday Ever. 

Let me tell you, 33 is up against some extremely stiff competition from 31 (when I celebrated by "inventing" mixed drinks with wild abandon and throwing up my chinese food dinner while Handy Husband held my hair) and 25 (when I sliced my finger wide open on a jar full of filthy pennies and bled like someone who sliced their finger wide open on a jar full of filthy pennies and then I had to go get a tetanus shot).

Good times.

But 33 has a definite edge on the competition, because the next day after the birthday mayhem? 

I had to go back to . . . the office.


Maternity leave is no more. 

[sad face]

I am back in the land of the gainfully employed once again: grumpily drafting memos, crankily checking spreadsheets and being unnecessarily passive-aggressive in the general direction of specific co-workers (BTW they are totally asking for it) all while wishing with all of my heavy heart I was at home watching The Baby make funny twitchy faces in his sleep.

I find on some days that I'm struggling to stay positive.

Today was particularly irritating in the office; but, on my way out the door this afternoon I read these three nice little words from a stranger:


Which reminds me again of some things I forget.

Thank you @DeltaFaucet. I don't know you, but you've got an impeccable sense of timing.

As some of us here in the bungalow unwillingly shuffle our way back into the grind, I suspect that project progress, and the posts that go along with it, may be slow.

But I know you, and I know you understand (and I thank you for that).

So in the spirit of searching for and finding the positive (and hanging onto it for dear life) here's what we've been working on in spite of the swirling vortex of chaos AND the blog posts you can happily look forward to reading. Eventually some day.

- all of the glorious details about WHY WE STILL DON'T HAVE A BATHROOM SINK.
- why on certain days the contractor is not my favorite person & fixing the wall tile.
- all about sanding, salvaging & re-finishing the original old-ass bathroom window.
- installation of a pretty (expensive) bath fan and the indignant outrage that ensues.
- 14 inches of shiny chrome-plated pipe, and oh, how I loooove it sooooo.
- AND building a custom recessed medicine cabinet. Handy Husband style.